After moving to Florida for retirement, Dave and I settled into our new life quickly. We packed up our home of 23 years and said goodbye to dear neighbors and our children. We loaded my 86-year-old father into cars packed to the brim and made the long trek south. Two weeks after arriving, we turned right back around and headed to Colorado. We wanted to be there for our son Bob’s wedding to the love of his life, Mirth. After the celebration, we returned to Florida for good.
Starting Over in Florida
Growing up as a military kid, I was used to moving often. Thankfully, I never had much trouble making friends or putting myself out there. My dad used to say I could have a conversation with a brick wall and be perfectly happy. I’m not that bad… but it’s definitely one of my personality traits, for better or worse.
Finding New Rhythms Together
Dave and I quickly jumped on the pickleball wagon and made a habit of heading to the beach for sunsets. Before long, we bought a kayak. Somehow Dave convinced this 56-year-old woman — who had always been afraid of the water — to go kayaking every weekend. We made friends quickly, including reconnecting with a couple of old, dear ones. Our lives felt full. But what stood out most was this: for the first time since our oldest daughter was born in 1995, we were truly a couple again. We were navigating marriage in retirement instead of the busyness of parenting.
Not Quite Empty Nesters
Well, almost. We are not quite empty nesters. My dad is still with us — I’ll write more about that later. But Dave and I were enjoying dating each other again. We’ve always tried to be intentional about doing things the other person enjoys, hoping to discover shared passions along the way. In Colorado, that meant hiking every weekend and camping together—things we both loved. Florida and hills don’t quite offer the same hiking experience, so we made sure to find new activities to enjoy together, even when it required compromise.
Sometimes that compromise looks like taking two cars to play pickleball: I’ll play for an hour, and Dave will stay until the lights are turned off and they kick him out. Other times it’s kayaking, where Dave understands that when I say it’s time to turn around, it really is time to turn around.
Finding Our Way Back to Us
I share all of this because there were long seasons — both distant and recent — when the demands of parenthood and caring for our parents came before our relationship. Rediscovering each other after decades of raising children — intentionally, imperfectly, and joyfully — has been one of the greatest gifts of this chapter.
