Take Meaningful Action

Pursue the Retirement You Want Instead of Hoping It Will Come To You (Because it won't!)

Photo by photo nic on Unsplash

When I was a wee little tot, back in the last century, sometimes when I would ask my mom for something, she'd respond with, "If wishes were horses then beggars would ride." It was her pithy way (borrowed from an old Scottish nursery rhyme proverb) of telling me no, so naturally I became irritated with the phrase over time. And, of course, as with many such annoying things our parents said to us, I in turn said that to my kids occasionally (although, in hindsight, probably not nearly enough!).

The phrase may seem a bit harsh by today's standards (for one thing, it's no longer polite to call people beggars), but the meaning is clear:  if you want something, it's not enough to wish for it. Wishing may be a fine starting point, but if you want something to go a certain way, you usually have to make it happen.

Retirement doesn't get a free pass from this rule.

Creating the Retirement You Want

Remove the Shackles from Your Imagination—then Imagine Your Future

For many of us, our lives up until retirement more or less follow the paths we laid out for ourselves when we were young:  school, career, family. Sure, there were some detours in the details, but in the big picture view, we generally stuck with the blueprint.

Nothing wrong with that, of course. It worked for me and countless others.

But as we turn the corner towards the third period of our lives, we have an opportunity to shake the "Etch-a-Sketch" to create a clean slate (I could never make my "drawings" look like anything more than the path of a dumb mouse lost in a maze anyway). After all, this may be the first point in our lives where we have both time and the resources to do the things we've always wanted to do. And when I say resources, I don't mean to imply that every pastime has to involve pouring a bunch of money into small holes in the ground (which they call "golf"). It could be as simple as taking up yoga (and posting the resulting funny videos on YouTube), making up for lost quality time with your spouse or other friends/family, or finally reading the manual for your VCR to figure out how to make the clock stop blinking "12:00" (and then taking the VCR to donate at Goodwill since nobody sells video tapes any more).

Whatever the case, I'm not here to prescribe what your ideal retirement should look like—only to help you realize that it's up to you to imagine it without many of the constraints that tamed you up until now.

What would you do if you didn't have anyone telling you "You can't do that."?

Endless Possibilities

Note that this doesn't have to be a single answer—in fact, you're probably better off if it isn't. I mean, there are things I love doing, but nothing that I enjoy enough for it to be the only thing I do for the rest of my days. I've heard many stories of people who dreamed of playing golf every day when they retire, but almost without fail, they are actually ready to go back to work after a few months, when they realize they want more out of life than allowing a little white ball to spoil good walks.

One way to organize your thoughts around what to do when you retire is to break it down between regular, ongoing activities and those things you might only plan to do once or twice (sometimes referred to as "bucket list" items).

Here are some examples out of endless possibilities of ongoing regular activities:

Physical activities like hiking, cycling, square dancing, brisk walking, swimming, paddle boarding, kayaking, tennis, pickleball (evidently all the rage among retirees at the moment), SCUBA diving, rollerblading, yoga, tai chi, gardening
Activities to help you keep your mental acuity, such as crossword puzzles, chess, reading, Trivial Pursuit, Sudoku, jigsaw puzzles, learning a foreign language, figuring out the U.S. tax code
Artistic endeavors like painting, writing, photography, drawing, art appreciation, coloring in coloring books, coloring on the walls in your house, making art out of pipe cleaners and googly eyes, origami, sculpting, or carving apples to look like old ladies
Social activities like quality time (doing any of these other activities!) with your spouse, other family members, or friends; bridge or any of countless other card games; board games; training your dog; training your cat to act like a dog; training your bird to do cool tricks (on second thought, don't get a bird, go visit them at the park); volunteer to mentor people at earlier stages in their lives (the number of people in this category seems to go up every year)
Other hobbies, such as woodworking, knitting, needlepoint, crocheting, underwater basket weaving (in case you majored in that in college), making YouTube videos of your attempts at yoga
Culinary skills like cooking, baking, wine tasting, more wine tasting, switching to the cheap wine because you've had so much already
Volunteer for an organization you are passionate about—I'll also be writing another article about this

Here are some ideas out of endless possibilities for bucket list activities:

You can also travel without always staying in fancy accommodations as well—try camping with a camper or even in a tent. There's nothing more relaxing or energizing than waking up in nature or as calming as ending the evening by the campfire. It's also a great opportunity to unplug, which can lead to quality time with family and friends, which is an added bonus if your family is as glued to their electronics as mine
Or you could travel with a purpose:  go on a missions trip to help people or animals in under-developed countries
If you're an eccentric billionaire, you could buy your way into space travel and beg (bribe) NASA to call you an astronaut
You could take college-level courses in any number of ways to learn something just for the fun of it (not because you're trying to get a job). There are a number of different ways to find free or inexpensive classes. I live in Colorado, so here we have Colorado Free University (www.freeu.com). There's also an extensive list of online (self-paced or instructor-led) courses through sites such as Udemy.com, edX.com, Coursera.org, to name a few. Also, many communities have community colleges with relatively inexpensive course options
If you'd prefer a walk on the wild side, you could do something a little further outside your comfort zone that you've always wanted to do. Some popular activities in this category include skydiving, whitewater rafting, and hang gliding. Of course, you need to use common sense and select reputable companies to guide you on such adventures. Also, make sure you are physically up to such challenges. I'm simply suggesting these as popular choices in this space, so don't take this as me encouraging you or giving you permission to do something dangerous! So your spouse can't sue me if s/he has to scrape you up off the pavement because your parachute didn't open

The Secret Sauce

So here's the one thing you must not do, for your own good:  Wish things were different without doing something to make it so. Longing for something better is fine—we all do that. But the difference between those people who wish for a better retirement and those who actually live a better retirement is that, for the most part, people who are living their dreams take action to achieve them.

There's an old Chinese proverb that I tell myself when I'm trying to generate momentum behind a new venture I'm working on:  "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." What this means is that you won't achieve the retirement you want with a single action, so don't give up if your first step seems awkward or even painful. Take another action, then do something else after that. Not only will this persistence lead you where you want to go, but you may also find yourself enjoying the journey more than if you just sat there, day after day, wishing for a better life.

I believe the key is to take control of your future rather than hope you'll get lucky so things turn out the way you want. This is why we made this the first value in our Aging Manifesto:

Taking meaningful action over sitting on the sidelines while life happens.

So, my friends, the secret sauce is taking meaningful action. Even if you don't achieve the outcomes you desire right away, I promise you that you'll feel better just for having taken that first step. The next one after that will improve your outlook even more, and so on in a positive snowball effect.

Two Questions for You

So, I leave you with these two questions (and then a quote summarizing this post):

What is your audacious dream for your retirement?
What is the one thing you can do today to start yourself on the path toward achieving it?

Take Meaningful Action

Photo by Jeremy Lapak on Unsplash. Quotation Copyright 2021 by David K. Carpenter, All Rights Reserved.

4 Comments

  1. Dave Little

    What If??? Boy my retirement is nothing like i imagined. Some of it is better some not even close. What if I had planned better… been more clear to myself what retirement meant. I think the info on this site if I had had it would have helped. Retirement is a beautiful goal and better planning will put more passion in it. And that is what it should be… beautiful and passionate. Thanks..

    1. Dave@thrivingintoretirement.com

      Thank you for the feedback and insight. I agree, planning can definitely help make it better. And I will write more about this, but my point here and with this site is not to give anyone regrets, but rather hope. You can’t change yesterday, but you can change tomorrow starting today! I feel another quote/photo coming on…

  2. Kristin Carpenter

    Many feel that they wait until they retire to figure out what they want to do. Like your other commenter mentioned, if we don’t look ahead earlier you might not get there. Very good insight.

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