Do I Still Matter?
The Timeless Journey of Significance: Navigating Life's Third Period
Introduction
Dividing our lives into three periods, like a hockey game, offers a unique perspective on life’s journey. Now, somewhere near the start of the third period, I find myself pondering a fundamental question: Do I still matter? This question, though personal, resonates widely, particularly among those nearing retirement or already retired.
This introspective quest is not a pursuit of vanity but a deep-seated yearning for assurance that what we do continues to make an impact on the world, or at least in our neighborhoods and on our family and friends. As we embark on this exploration, it becomes evident that the third period of life is imbued with an intrinsic search for significance as we age.
Navigating the Changing Terrain
The evolving seasons of life transform our roles–parent, spouse, colleague, caregiver—and our significance hangs in the balance. As we approach retirement, reflecting on our professional legacies, familial bonds, and social connections highlights the enduring impact we’ve made and continue to make.
The Professional Legacy
As we get closer to retirement, we reflect on our professional legacies—the skills we’ve honed, the teams we’ve nurtured, and the knowledge we’ve imparted. These experiences do not fade into oblivion; instead, they are woven through the fabric of industries and lives we’ve touched, attesting to our lasting influence.
The Family Dynamic
Our roles within the family may evolve, but our
significance—as pillars of wisdom, tradition, and unconditional support—remains
steadfast. These familial bonds, strengthened over decades, transcend the
immediate needs of daily care, embodying our enduring presence in the lives of
those we cherish. We have grown from “Hey dad, can I borrow the car?” to “Hey
dad, can you help me grapple with this challenge in my life that’s keeping me
up at night?”
Societal Contributions
People who have retired but want to give back can enrich the communal fabric through volunteering, mentorship, and a multitude of contributions beyond the traditional definition of economic productivity. These endeavors underscore the misconception of worth being primarily tied to one’s active professional life or the size of one’s paycheck.
Rediscovering and Redefining Significance
The Internal Journey
Guides like Marie de Hennezel’s The Warmth of
the Heart Prevents Your Body from Rusting and Ashton Applewhite’s This Chair
Rocks shine a light on the path to recognizing that our worth is undiminished
by the passage of time. They encourage a shift in perspective to appreciate the
intrinsic value possessed by every individual, merely by existing.
The Power of Influence
Our lives, a kaleidoscope of interactions and experiences, have indelibly influenced and shaped those around us in ways that may remain unseen but are profoundly impactful. The kindness we share, the wisdom we impart, and the supportive presence we provide can significantly alter the trajectory of others’ lives.
Integrating Faith into Our Journey of Significance
I’m going to venture a little way down a path I
normally avoid in my articles on this site and talk briefly about faith. This
is not an attempt to convince anyone about the veracity of my beliefs, but
rather a humble suggestion that one’s spirituality can play an important part
in their journey of significance. If you don’t believe in God, I invite you to
substitute that word in this next section with whatever word encompasses the
guiding force in your life.
Turning to God: Our Eternal Significance
In moments of doubt, turning to God reveals a
humbling yet uplifting truth: we matter deeply to Him. Created uniquely for
divine purposes, we find in the narrative of Easter—a story of sacrifice and
resurrection—a poignant reminder of our value in God’s eyes.
God’s Work Through Us
God often chooses to work through us in quiet
yet impactful ways. As God’s hands and feet, our actions and words can become
vessels of grace, underscoring our role in a divine story that transcends our
understanding. Even though it’s a giant world filled with billions of people,
we are all interconnected in some way. When viewed through this lens, it’s
entirely possible that we may never get to see the impact we make in someone
else’s life, since our interconnectedness transcends our geography and maybe
even our timeline on this planet.
Embracing Our Role in God’s Story
Our significance evolves yet never diminishes in
the eyes of the One who created us. In every life season, whether we’re in the
middle of the action or gently supporting from the sidelines, our worth remains
supreme and constant under God’s unwavering gaze.
The Path Forward – Ways to Enhance Our Significance
Engagement with the world around us through community service, the arts, non-profits, and continuing education enriches not
just others but also our sense of relevance. This pursuit of knowledge and new experiences challenges the notion that aging is synonymous with stagnation and obscurity. Instead, it showcases a landscape ripe for exploration and growth.
Embracing Lifelong Learning
The pursuit of knowledge and wisdom is ageless. Engaging in lifelong learning can reignite a sense of purpose and curiosity. Whether it’s taking up a new hobby, enrolling in online courses, or attending workshops and lectures, continuous learning can expand your horizons and connect you with like-minded individuals. Remember, the capacity to learn and
grow does not diminish with age.
Fostering Interpersonal Connections
The essence of our significance lies not only in grand gestures but in everyday moments—the shared laughter, the offered
comfort, and the collective memories. These interpersonal connections, whether with family, friends, or community, provide a network of support and belonging that nourish our souls and those of the people with whom we interact.
Forming connections with people of different ages can provide fresh perspectives and reduce feelings of isolation. Such
relationships can be mutually beneficial; sharing your experiences and wisdom with younger generations can instill a sense of purpose and relevance, while their energy and new ideas can inspire you. Consider volunteering as a mentor,
joining clubs or groups that encourage diverse age participation, or simply reaching out to younger family members.
These connections become part of our legacy.
Engage in Community Service
Contributing to your community is a powerful way to feel needed and relevant. Community service provides a platform to apply your life skills and knowledge towards meaningful causes. Whether it’s volunteering at local shelters, participating in environmental clean-ups, or offering your professional skills pro bono, giving back can enhance your self-worth and connectivity with those who need and appreciate your engagement, skills, and contributions.
Nurture Your Social Connections
Maintaining and building new social connections is crucial for combating loneliness and feelings of irrelevance. Stay in touch with friends and family, join clubs or groups that share your interests, or explore new social opportunities. These connections can provide support, laughter, and a sense of belonging.
In this digital age, I should point out that social media doesn’t count here. There’s not necessarily anything wrong with Facebook or the myriad other digital social networking tools, but there’s no comparison between liking someone’s post and giving them a hug because you enjoyed visiting with them. Put down your phone and engage with people face-to-face. There’s no better way to feel like you’ve been seen.
Stay Physically Active
Physical activity is not just about maintaining health; it’s also linked to emotional and psychological well-being. Regular exercise can boost your mood, increase energy levels, and help you feel more engaged in life. Activities like walking, yoga, swimming, or dancing can be both enjoyable and beneficial for your health. All the better if you can do these things in community with others—most of the time, exercise doesn’t seem so bad when you enjoy it with others.
Cultivate Creativity
Engaging in creative activities can be a
profound source of joy and self-expression. Painting, writing, music,
gardening, or any form of creative art can provide an outlet for your emotions
and thoughts, allowing you to share your unique perspective with the world.
Creativity knows no age limit and can be a meaningful way to leave a legacy.
Focus on Self-Reflection and Mindfulness
Mindfulness and self-reflection can help you understand and appreciate your life’s journey, embracing the wisdom that comes with age. Practices such as meditation, journaling, or simply spending time in nature can foster a sense of peace and contentment, helping to counter feelings of irrelevance.
Advocate for Age Positivity
Challenging societal norms and stereotypes about aging can empower not just you but others as well. Engage in friendly conversations, support age-positive movements, and celebrate examples of active, vibrant older individuals in media and your community. Advocacy can reshape perceptions of aging, highlighting the value and relevance of older adults.
I have one gentle suggestion here, though: it would be best if you were kind and respectful in your advocacy for age positivity. Most people I know (myself included) don’t really care for “in your face” activists even if they agree with their cause. The best kind of advocate is one who does so by gently opening others’ eyes, not by slapping them in the face.
What We Leave Behind
Our legacy is painted by the brush of our
actions, big and small, seen and unseen. It’s in the love we’ve spread, the
wisdom we’ve shared, and the impact of our gentle presence. Recognizing the
value in each interaction, we craft a legacy of immeasurable worth.
Conclusion
As we skate our way through the third period of our lives, let us embrace the profound understanding that our significance, far from waning, is etched into the very essence of our being. Like the skilled hockey player who enjoys the game as much as the final score, we too, can revel in the beauty of each moment, each connection, knowing with certainty that we do, indeed, matter immensely, just as we are.
Mindfulness and self-reflection can help you understand and appreciate your life’s journey, embracing the wisdom that comes with age. Practices such as meditation, journaling, or simply spending time in nature can foster a sense of peace and contentment, helping to counter feelings of irrelevance.
