If you are attempting to achieve something that everyone questions whether it's possible (including yourself), you need to read this book. If you are striving to be an extraordinary leader, teacher, parent, spouse, friend or human being, this book is for you. If you still aspire to do great things, you will need to dare greatly. So guess what? You should get this book.

It was recommended to me, and the title was appealing, so I thought I'd scan through it to decide if it was worth giving it a read. I didn't have to turn too many pages, though, before I got the impression that it was a sociology book about vulnerability and shame research.

Honestly, my thought at that point was, Blech, that sounds terrible.

Nevertheless, because it was highly recommended to me, I thought I would at least start reading it. I could always set it aside if it turned out to be too dull or "touchy-feely".

And boy am I glad I gave it a try. Read on and I'll explain why.

Dr. Brown's basic idea in the book is that vulnerability is at the heart of authentic living. In order to love and be loved, to know and be known, we must take the monumental risk of exposing the very core of our being to another person, or maybe even the whole world. In taking the mask off, lowering our guard, we take the chance of being shunned, mocked, ridiculed. Rejected because of who we really are.

As scary as that may seem, though, it is the only path that leads to authentic living, to deep, lasting connections with other human beings. In order to truly live, we must take risks, we have to push ourselves beyond our self-imposed boundaries of safety and comfort.

That's vulnerability (so no, you don't have to watch "chick flicks").

As she states in the book, "Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences."

One of the things that caught my attention early on was when Dr. Brown quoted President Teddy Roosevelt, then explained how that tied into her vulnerability research, which resulted in this book.

First, here's the Roosevelt quote:  "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

So, what's this got to do with vulnerability? The whole book ties this together well, but she summarizes it best in the last chapter, aptly called "Final Thoughts":  "Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It's about courage. In a world where scarcity and shame dominate and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It's even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there's a far greater risk of feeling hurt. But as I look back on my own life and what Daring Greatly has meant to me, I can honestly say that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I'm standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen."

Yes, I think this would be a good book for you to read if you are looking to improve anything about yourself or your life as you think about what the days ahead could hold. This is an opportunity to remake yourself into who you've always wanted to be, or at least chisel away at those pesky little shortcomings that have been nipping at your heels for years.

The choices are yours to make, the actions are yours to take, if you will dare greatly.

If you are looking to form even deeper bonds with your spouse, close friends, or family members, this book will give you some ideas about how to make that happen. If your goal is pursue your entrepreneurial dreams, this book will encourage you to go for it. It will also remind you that if it doesn't work out as you had hoped, you should find comfort in the fact that you took action to chase your dreams. There is no shame in that. If your passion is in art, music, photography, writing—anything where you expose your soul to a critical world—this book will give you the courage to let it all hang out.

I certainly do not intend to prescribe what it is you should want to do with your time in retirement; I only mean to say that this book will challenge and encourage you to go after those things wholeheartedly.

Anyway, here are some specific reasons why I recommend this book:

OK, so maybe you're wondering why I would review this book on a site dedicated to helping people thrive into retirement. Good question!

Let me ask you some questions in return. What does a thriving retirement look like for you? Does it look exactly like your life prior to retiring? It's a trick question since if you answered "no", then you're not retiring.

Here's another question:  is your idea of a great retirement turning on the TV and sitting in your favorite recliner until the day you die? If not, chances are you are going to have to do something that makes you feel vulnerable—to dare greatly—as you move into the third period of your life.

And why not? This may be the best time of your life to write your own script, to take an active role in defining what you want the rest of your days to look like and what kind of person you want to be. As I mentioned earlier, almost anything worth doing is going to entail getting into the arena and contending for it.

Don't listen to the critics, people telling you can't do it because you're to old or timid or untalented. To know Victory, you must stand defiantly against the Fear of Failure and tell it that it no longer has the power to define you.

So that's why I reviewed this book, and why I give it such a strong recommendation. I want all of us to dare greatly since it is an essential element of thriving into retirement.

These are more of my favorite quotations by Brené Brown from her great book, "Daring Greatly":

• "Connection is why we're here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering."
• "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging."
• "Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences."
• "What we all share in common--what I've spent the past several years talking to leaders, parents, and educators about--is the truth that forms the very core of this book:  What we know matters, but who we are matters more. Being rather than knowing requires showing up and letting ourselves be seen. It requires us to dare greatly, to be vulnerable."
• "After doing this work for the past twelve years and watching scarcity ride roughshod over our families, organizations, and communities, I'd say the one thing we have in common is that we're sick of feeling afraid. We want to dare greatly. We're tired of the national conversation centering on "What should we fear?" and "Who should we blame?" We all want to be brave."
• "Trust is a product of vulnerability that grows over time and requires work, attention, and full engagement. Trust isn’t a grand gesture—it’s a growing marble collection."
  
• "Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."
  
• "Just like Roosevelt advised, when we dare greatly we will err and we will come up short again and again. There will be failures and mistakes and criticism. If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can’t equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging, and joy. If we do, we’ll never show up and try again. Shame hangs out in the parking lot of the arena, waiting for us to come out defeated and determined to never take risks. It laughs and says, “I told you this was a mistake. I knew you weren’t _________ enough.” Shame resilience is the ability to say, “This hurts. This is disappointing, maybe even devastating. But success and recognition and approval are not the values that drive me. My value is courage and I was just courageous. You can move on, shame.”"
  
• "As I look back on what I’ve learned about shame, gender, and worthiness, the greatest lesson is this: If we’re going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of what we’re supposed to be is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly."
• "As children we found ways to protect ourselves from vulnerability, from being hurt, diminished, and disappointed. We put on armor; we used our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as weapons; and we learned how to make ourselves scarce, even to disappear. Now as adults we realize that to live with courage, purpose, and connection—to be the person whom we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen."

• "Joy comes to us in moments—ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary."

• "Shame can only rise so far in any system before people disengage to protect themselves. When we’re disengaged, we don’t show up, we don’t contribute, and we stop caring."

• "A daring greatly culture is a culture of honest, constructive, and engaged feedback."

• "Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the “never enough” culture, the question isn’t so much “Are you parenting the right way?” as it is: “Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?”"

• "If we’re always following our children into the arena, hushing the critics, and assuring their victory, they’ll never learn that they have the ability to dare greatly on their own."

• "There really is “no effort without error and shortcoming” and there really is no triumph without vulnerability."

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Further, in the case when I review books that I recommend (like this one), I want to point out that most of them are also available from your local library. If you want to read the book but do not wish to purchase it, you may be able to find both electronic and print versions of the book at your library (so you don't have to spend any money to enjoy the book). The former would even allow you to download it onto your electronic device of choice (mobile phone, tablet, or computer), where it will remain for the duration of the normal borrowing period. Similarly, if your desired way to consume books is in audio format, you can borrow audio versions of most titles from your library as well. If this is appealing to you but you have no idea how to go about setting this up, please leave a comment to that effect. If I get enough requests like this, I will put together an example "How to" blog or video to show you how to get that set up.